Zaphriel's political commentary can be found at... Liberty Just In Case

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Name: Zaphriel Michaels
Location: Reno, Nevada, USA
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Thursday, June 02, 2005

Where did all the flowers go?...

Are there any mysteries left?

Where are we going?

Is armageddon coming?

Or have we just become stupid?

You know I am tired of this stuff. Is nowhere safe?


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Clarity...

Haven't we all felt like this?

A "Life and Career" coach met with a prospective client one morning and asked the client what he wanted to get out of their sessions.

"Clarity," the client said very firmly.

"And on what issues are you looking for clarity?" the coach asked.

"Well," he said in a less confident tone, "I'm not sure."


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Wednesday, June 01, 2005

911 Calls

Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What is your emergency?

Caller: I heard what sounded like gunshots coming from the brown house on the corner.

Dispatcher: Do you have an address?

Caller: No, I'm wearing a blouse and slacks, why?



Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What is your emergency?

Caller: Someone broke into my house and took a bite out of my ham and cheese sandwich.

Dispatcher: Excuse me?

Caller: I made a ham and cheese sandwich and left it on the kitchen table and when I came back from the bathroom, someone had taken a bite out of it.

Dispatcher: Was anything else taken?

Caller: No, but this has happened to me before and I'm sick and tired of it.



Dispatcher: 9-1-1 Fire or emergency?

Caller: Fire, I guess.

Dispatcher: How can I help you sir?

Caller: I was wondering.....does the Fire Dept. put snow chains on their trucks?

Dispatcher: Yes sir, do you have an emergency?!

Caller: Well, I've spent the last 4 hours trying to put these chains on my tires and... well.. do you think the Fire Dept. could come over and help me?

Dispatcher: Help you what?

Caller: Help me get these chains on my car!



Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What is the nature of your emergency?

Caller: I'm trying to reach nine eleven but my phone doesn't have an eleven on it.

Dispatcher: This is nine eleven.

Caller: I thought you just said it was nine-one-one

Dispatcher: Yes, ma'am nine-one-one and nine-eleven are the same thing.

Caller: Honey, I may be old, but I'm not stupid.



Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What's the nature of your emergency?

Caller: My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart.

Dispatcher: Is this her first child?

Caller: No, you idiot! This is her husband!



And the winner is..........

Dispatcher: 9-1-1

Caller: Yeah, I'm having trouble breathing. I'm all out of breath. Darn....I think I'm going to pass out.

Dispatcher: Sir, where are you calling from?

Caller: I'm at a pay phone. North and Foster. Damn......

Dispatcher: Sir, an ambulance is on the way. Are you an asthmatic?

Caller: No

Dispatcher: What were you doing before you started having trouble breathing?

Caller: Running from the Police.


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Strange News Roundup

Boy did this guy make an Astronomical Goof

What’s all the buzz about?

True love really can conquer all!

Advertisers keep getting more and more creative, but is that good?

Apparently, "Neither Rain, Sleet, Snow or Dark of Night" doesn’t include doorsteps.


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Tuesday, May 31, 2005

Japanese Name Generator

This is the strangest Blogthing I have come accross Yet.




Your Japanese Name Is...









Yuu Jimyoin




What's your Japanese Name?


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Ipso Facto Comic
 
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