Zaphriel's political commentary can be found at... Liberty Just In Case

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Name: Zaphriel Michaels
Location: Reno, Nevada, USA
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Thursday, June 16, 2005

Have you ever been described as...

Sharp as a twinkie

His dipstick doesn't quite touch the oil

Has a mind like a rusted steel trap

(S)he's a perfect example of why siblings
should not breed

Painted with the blonde brush at birth

Cannot find his ass with both hands


If so you may be STUPID.


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Some interesting origins.

Peeping Tom


Meaning: Someone who looks in the windows of people's homes.


From the legend of Lady Godiva, who rode naked through the streets of Coventry in order to get her husband, Lord Leofric, to reduce taxes. She requested that the citizens stay inside and close their shutters while she rode. Everyone did "except the town tailor, Tom, who peeped throught the shutters."


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Hooker


Meaning: A prostitute.


Although occasionally used before the Civil War, its widespread popularity can probably be traced to General Joseph Hooker, a Union soldier who was well-known for the liquor and whores in his camp. He was ultimately demoted and Washington prostitutes were jokingly referred to as "Hooker's Division."


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Oh like...

we didn't see this coming.

How come life is sooo predictable?


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Monday, June 13, 2005

Irish Daughter

Now I have irish family, so morality aside, this one was funny to me...

An Irish daughter had not been home for over 5 years.

Upon her return, her father cussed her; "Where have you been all this time, you ingrate! Why didn't you write us, not even a line to let us know how you were doing? Why didn't you call? You little tramp! Don't you know what you put your Mum through??!!"

The girl, crying, replied, "Sniff, sniff... Dad... I became a prostitute..."

"WHAT? Out of here, you shameless harlot! Sinner! You're a disgrace to this family - I don't ever want to see you again!"

"OK, Dad - as you wish. I just came back to give Mom this luxury fur coat, title deeds to a ten bed-roomed mansion, plus a savings account certificate for 5 million Euros. For my little brother, this gold Rolex, and for you Daddy the spanking new Mercedes limited edition convertible that's parked outside plus a lifetime membership to the Country Club...(takes a breath)...an invitation for you all to spend New Years' Eve on board my new yacht in the Riviera, and...."

Her Father says, "Now what was it you said you had become?"

Girl, crying again, "Sniff, sniff... A prostitute Dad! ... Sniff, sniff."

"Oh! Be Jesus! - You scared me half to death, girl! I thought you said 'a Protestant'. Come here and give your old man a hug!"


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